Pie IS Easy

I used Krusteaz mix for the crust and sort of a recipe from the internet but they all boiled down (heh) to 'cut up apples, add sugar and spice, put in crust, bake.' Some of them got into delicate, filigreed crust edges requiring pressure sensors and micrometers while others were deeply concerned that the correct sub-sub-type of the apple variety be peeled with the utmost rigor according to those ancient laws set here within ... others discussed acid and base baths to macerate ... preheat the stone... screw that, no way, shut up! Slice, mix, bake, slice, mix, bake, you chumps!