Friday, April 25, 2003

draft of Memo

Let's say our client, B-Motile, has contracted to forward calls to us about Crawlerbots. For reasons of their own, B-Motile starts forwarding calls about Roverwheels also. This will affect our work. We can be polite about it, but it is going to affect our work because we will be handling two classes of calls instead of one.Because we are nice about it, we handle the Roverwheels calls as best we can.
This encourages B-Motile's other vendor, ColicTingle, to continue to forward Roverwheel calls. Diplomacy has availed us very little tangible result so far. The immediate benefit that every ColicTingle worker realizes when they get away with a bad transfer outweighs the effect of the proposed feedback mechanism. If they are getting spanked for calls over two minutes, feedback from that website, buffered by time, distance, logistics and politics as it is, will have little impact.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Fortuitous Afternoon Light

Speaking of light, the wee little webcam managed to capture an interesting effect of some late afternoon sun:

click already! (466k)

Krana Za

The model in the Nokia ad is actually kinda scary with all the cheek sucking and heroine addiction and all. I've cobbled together a brief animation featuring her in the context of — Surprise! — Bionicle.

click already! (70k)

Hey! Someone Loves Me!

I did not hack the Nokia site.

Monday, April 14, 2003

Buhtrok Invasion!

Mad props to true believer Jordan for capturing Onua rawkin' out! Awesome!

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Matoran Celebration Turns Rowdy

"Watch out for the beer!"
"I'll tell you when I've had enough, mister!"
"The beer! The beer!"
"You're not the boss of me! And another thing ..."
click already! (768k)

Robot Roll Call!

The villagers of Wiwadatasawa Koro have assembled and then trundled away off camera for some Koronan fun. Ping pong? Foosball? Pool? Air hockey? Darts? Climbing wall? Barbecue? Or has some deeper purpose brought them together. Mm hm, deeper purpose. They'll be debating the finer points of Spinoza late into the night, I expect.

click already! (464k)

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Wiwadatasawa Koro

There will be an adventure in the village of Wiwadatasawa Koro. It even has villagers - Alfotopo, Jordoro, Aleksua, Damo*, Huti, Iano, Gibgib, Jefi, Josiaru†, Kenua, Kylu, Peraga, Rojoro, and Susu. I have no idea how the village fits into the ecology/economy of Mata Nui.

UPDATE: This village was built on or near the ruins of Abanota Koro. Vinii, Manjit, Lizu, Natu, and Rayo cannot be too far off. Kylu knew the old village, perhaps he knows. Perhaps.

* soon to be parted out except in memory
† parted out compleat

Thursday, April 03, 2003

"Will the humans please just step off the planet?"

It's not the most heinous thing I have ever read, but it is certainly in contention:
"Heimann's invalid mother, who witnessed the crime*, was found abandoned in the house, eating newspapers."

* her son beaten to death with baseball bats.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

I AM in a Good Mood!

Man, what a grumpy-puss!

I was actually in a good mood when the cam caught this image. I'm not sure why I look like I am about ready to answer the question, "What is the Law?"* Alternatively, I may be asking the question, "Why does a muskrat guard his musk?"** The Lego in the foreground is the formidable Tarakava.

* not to walk on all fours, natch
** courage, of course!

On the March

In the pris-on cell I sit think-ing moth-er dear, of you,
and our bright and hap-py home so far a-way.
And the tears they fill my eyes, spite of all that I can do,
though I try to cheer my com-rades and be gay.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

In the bat-tle front we stand when their fierc-est
charge they made and they swept us off a hun-dred men or more.
But be-fore we reached the lines they were beat-en back dis-mayed,
and we heard the cry of vic - t'ry o'er and o'er.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

So with-in the pri-son cell we are wait-ing for the day
that shall come to o-pen wide the i - ron door.
And the hol-low eye grows bright, and the poor heart al-most gay
as we think of see-ing home and friends once more.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

Bohrok Respond to Barbarity with Barbarity — the Predictable Response to Lewa's Unilateral Aggression

Nuparu, Whenua and Kopaka have been overwhelmed by Onua Nuva (Krana-controlled), Lewa (also Krana-controlled), Tahnok Kal, Nuhvok Kal and Pahrak. What horrors await the rescue mission when they finally arrive? Nuparu may be able to sneak away from the wreckage of the Boxor vehicle.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Here's a happy little song.

Perksua is a funny little codger
With a smile a funny smile.
Five feet none, he’s an artful little dodger
With a smile a funny smile.
Flush or broke he’ll have his little joke,
He can’t be suppressed.
All the other fellows have to grin
When he gets this off his chest, Hi!

(chorus, sung twice after each verse:)
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,
And smile, smile, smile,
While you’ve a lucifer to light your fag,
Smile, boys, that’s the style.
What’s the use of worrying?
It never was worth while, so
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,
And smile, smile, smile.

Perksua went a-marching into Flan Koro
With his smile his funny smile.
He was loved by the privates and commanders
For his smile his funny smile.
When a throng of Bohroks came along
With a mighty swing,
Perks yelled out, “This little bunch is mine!
Keep your heads down, boys and sing, Hi!


Perksua he came back from Bohrok-shooting
With his smile his funny smile.
Round his home he then set about recruiting
With his smile his funny smile.
He told all his pals, the short, the tall,
What a time he’d had;
And as each enlisted like a man
Perksua said ‘Now my lad,’ Hi!


Pattonua's Speech*

Now, an army is a team - it lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap... Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going' up against. By God, I do. We're not just gonna shoot the bastard, we're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Bohrok bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Bohrok are the enemy. Wade into them, spill their blood, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

That's all.

*apologies to Francis Ford Coppola, Edmund H. North, George C. Scott, George S. Patton and Ole Kirk Christiansen

Rescue Mission

These photos were smuggled from an undisclosed staging area. They appear to be elite heavy cavalry from Onu Koro.

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