Matoran and new toy: the expected result

To avoid the sharp matter & point

A Subway cum convenience store near work sells this delightful toy:









Banned in New York!
This one lights up!
Banned in the UK!
Tweens speak out!
YOU can sell them!
Learn more (than you need to)!

The best part is the caution:
“To avoid the sharp matter & point”

Is a Crab 2

Alf, upon consideration of my too-numerous Bohrok, commented, "It looks like a dress party for crabs." Bless Alf. See this post from 2001.

draft of Memo

Let's say our client, B-Motile, has contracted to forward calls to us about Crawlerbots. For reasons of their own, B-Motile starts forwarding calls about Roverwheels also. This will affect our work. We can be polite about it, but it is going to affect our work because we will be handling two classes of calls instead of one.Because we are nice about it, we handle the Roverwheels calls as best we can.

This encourages B-Motile's other vendor, ColicTingle, to continue to forward Roverwheel calls. Diplomacy has availed us very little tangible result so far. The immediate benefit that every ColicTingle worker realizes when they get away with a bad transfer outweighs the effect of the proposed feedback mechanism. If they are getting spanked for calls over two minutes, feedback from that website, buffered by time, distance, logistics and politics as it is, will have little impact.

The Rescue Expedition Continues to Prepare

The Toa Maiden encounters the Rescue Expedition as they prepare their supply caravan.

Fortuitous Afternoon Light

Speaking of light, the wee little webcam managed to capture an interesting effect of some late afternoon sun:

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Krana Za

The model in the Nokia ad is actually kinda scary with all the cheek sucking and heroine addiction and all. I've cobbled together a brief animation featuring her in the context of — Surprise! — Bionicle.

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Hey! Someone Loves Me!

I did not hack the Nokia site.

Buhtrok Invasion!

Mad props to true believer Jordan for capturing Onua rawkin' out! Awesome!

Matoran Celebration Turns Rowdy

♥ "Watch out for the beer!"
♠ "I'll tell you when I've had enough, mister!"
♥ "The beer! The beer!"
♠ "You're not the boss of me! And another thing ..."

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Robot Roll Call!

The villagers of Wiwadatasawa Koro have assembled and then trundled away off camera for some Koronan fun. Ping pong? Foosball? Pool? Air hockey? Darts? Climbing wall? Barbecue? Or has some deeper purpose brought them together. Mm hm, deeper purpose. They'll be debating the finer points of Spinoza late into the night, I expect.

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Wiwadatasawa Koro

There will be an adventure in the village of Wiwadatasawa Koro. It even has villagers - Alfotopo, Jordoro, Aleksua, Damo*, Huti, Iano, Gibgib, Jefi, Josiaru†, Kenua, Kylu, Peraga, Rojoro, and Susu. I have no idea how the village fits into the ecology/economy of Mata Nui.

UPDATE: This village was built on or near the ruins of Abanota Koro. Vinii, Manjit, Lizu, Natu, and Rayo cannot be too far off. Kylu knew the old village, perhaps he knows. Perhaps.


* soon to be parted out except in memory
† parted out compleat

Nuhvok Kal Has a Bit of Fun with Onua

"Will the humans please just step off the planet?"

It's not the most heinous thing I have ever read, but it is certainly in contention:
"Heimann's invalid mother, who witnessed the crime*, was found abandoned in the house, eating newspapers."

* her son beaten to death with baseball bats.

I AM in a Good Mood!

Man, what a grumpy-puss!

I was actually in a good mood when the cam caught this image. I'm not sure why I look like I am about ready to answer the question, "What is the Law?"* Alternatively, I may be asking the question, "Why does a muskrat guard his musk?"** The Lego in the foreground is the formidable Tarakava.

* not to walk on all fours, natch
** courage, of course!

On the March

In the pris-on cell I sit think-ing moth-er dear, of you,
and our bright and hap-py home so far a-way.
And the tears they fill my eyes, spite of all that I can do,
though I try to cheer my com-rades and be gay.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

In the bat-tle front we stand when their fierc-est
charge they made and they swept us off a hun-dred men or more.
But be-fore we reached the lines they were beat-en back dis-mayed,
and we heard the cry of vic - t'ry o'er and o'er.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

So with-in the pri-son cell we are wait-ing for the day
that shall come to o-pen wide the i - ron door.
And the hol-low eye grows bright, and the poor heart al-most gay
as we think of see-ing home and friends once more.

Tramp, tramp, tramp! the boys are march - ing.
Cheer up, com-rades, they will come.
And be-neath the Koro flag we shall breathe the air again
of the free land in our own be-lov-ed home.

Bohrok Respond to Barbarity with Barbarity — the Predictable Response to Lewa's Unilateral Aggression

Nuparu, Whenua and Kopaka have been overwhelmed by Onua Nuva (Krana-controlled), Lewa (also Krana-controlled), Tahnok Kal, Nuhvok Kal and Pahrak. What horrors await the rescue mission when they finally arrive? Nuparu may be able to sneak away from the wreckage of the Boxor vehicle.

Here's a happy little song.

Perksua is a funny little codger
With a smile a funny smile.
Five feet none, he’s an artful little dodger
With a smile a funny smile.
Flush or broke he’ll have his little joke,
He can’t be suppressed.
All the other fellows have to grin
When he gets this off his chest, Hi!

(chorus, sung twice after each verse:)
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,
And smile, smile, smile,
While you’ve a lucifer to light your fag,
Smile, boys, that’s the style.
What’s the use of worrying?
It never was worth while, so
Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,
And smile, smile, smile.

Perksua went a-marching into Flan Koro
With his smile his funny smile.
He was loved by the privates and commanders
For his smile his funny smile.
When a throng of Bohroks came along
With a mighty swing,
Perks yelled out, “This little bunch is mine!
Keep your heads down, boys and sing, Hi!

(chorus)

Perksua he came back from Bohrok-shooting
With his smile his funny smile.
Round his home he then set about recruiting
With his smile his funny smile.
He told all his pals, the short, the tall,
What a time he’d had;
And as each enlisted like a man
Perksua said ‘Now my lad,’ Hi!

(chorus)

Pattonua's Speech*

Now, an army is a team - it lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap... Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going' up against. By God, I do. We're not just gonna shoot the bastard, we're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Bohrok bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Bohrok are the enemy. Wade into them, spill their blood, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

That's all.

*apologies to Francis Ford Coppola, Edmund H. North, George C. Scott, George S. Patton and Ole Kirk Christiansen

Rescue Mission

These photos were smuggled from an undisclosed staging area. They appear to be elite heavy cavalry from Onu Koro.

Onua Nuva Infected by Krana

Poor Onua Nuva! In a shocking turn of events, Onua Nuva has been possessed by a Krana and has even infected Lewa with a Krana. Kopaka is in a tricky spot. He could probably rescu Lewa, but Onua Nuva far outmatches his ice powers. The Bohrok, recently under the control of Mystical Blue Masking Tape, are again free.

With Allies Like These ...

Nuhvok Kal was probably just giving the little Va directions to the nearest Tully's but has sheared his head clean off. Oops.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

A well-meaning co-worker forwarded this heartwarming image in an attempt to soothe my troubled brow. Much in the vein of the 'Hang in There' kitten.


To which I heartlessly replied:

In Bad Taste or Merely Oblivious?

The following was copied from www.bionicle.com. Given the events in Iraq, I am hard pressed to say whether the good folk at Lego are having a little dark fun or are simply presenting the scenarios they wrote months and months ago.

Desert Showdown

Disaster in the sands for the Toa Nuva
By Takua

The Toa had tracked the thieves of their symbols all across Mata Nui, returning at last to the sandy expanse of Po-Wahi. Deep in the desert, they finally caught up with the mysterious Bohrok-Kal.

The creatures’ eyes glowed with a cunning intelligence. Their gleaming shells bore reptilian patterns surrounding strange symbols. They raised their shields and, incredibly, they spoke!

“We are the Bohrok-Kal,” said one in a voice like metal scraping stone. “We search for Cahdok and Gahdok, queens of the swarms.”

“Tell us where you have hidden the Bahrag and then stand aside,” said another, “We have no wish to harm helpless foes.”

Angered by their tone, Lewa Nuva leaped into action, but the impulsive Toa of Air found himself pinned in place by the magnetic force of Gahlok-Kal. Onua Nuva tried to end the battle with a single blow, but Pahrok-Kal’s plasma held him at bay. As Tahu Nuva attempted to protect his fellow Toa with the Mask of Shielding, Nuhvok-Kal’s mastery of gravity sent him crashing to the ground. Then the Bohrok-Kal turned the full force of their powers on the heroes of Mata Nui.

When the Toa Nuva awakened, the creatures were gone.

“This was one of those look-before-you-leap things, wasn't it?” said Lewa Nuva. “I guess I’m still mad about the tree. Stupid bugs.”

Kopaka Nuva’s mood was predictably cold. “If they free the Bahrag, the swarms will return to their mission. We cannot allow this to happen.”

“The Bohrok-Kal faced us together, while we stood apart,” said Gali Nuva sadly. “This is what I feared when we went our separate ways. As powerful as we became, it is in our unity that our true strength lies.”

Now the quest of the Toa Nuva has become even more desperate. They must find the Bahrag, defeat the Bohrok-Kal and end the threat of the swarms for good – all without the aid of their elemental powers!

The Executions Have Begun.

The conflict took an ugly turn today when Lewa, Toa of Air, arrived and immediately began beheading prisoners. Lewa was not available for comment.

Beware, Alf and Jordan!

Ask not for whom the Bionicle monster trolls, it trolls for thee!

Tron is Brilliant

Got a used copy of Tron on Friday. It's really good, much better than I remember. The 2nd disc of extra is not that great.
UPDATE Unbelievable but true. My girlfriend does not like Tron. Color me dumbfounded.

Another Toa Maiden Tale

The impetus for this slideshow was a visit by a small child and the consequent disassembly of some of my Bionicle. A fine time was had by all.

Footprint of Makuta

A slide show of pictures of events touching on myth.

Reconnaissance

Away from his Boxor vehicle, Nuparu is easy pickings for any Bohrok.



Kopaka surveys the terrible scene. The fiends are watching themselves on big-screen TV!